why does everything have to fall apart?
why do i keep disappointing people?
why do i purposely harm myself?
why do i piss people off?
why do i continuously lose friends?
why do i always just stop caring?
why cant i do anything right?
why doesnt anybody believe in me?
why cant i believe in myself?
why am i such a screw up?
WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
ugh frusturated..
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, November 19, 2010
those things
everybody has something or somebody they rely on when the going gets tough.
some may say, that that saved their life..others just have it just in case.
some things arent the greatest to hold on to..while saving your life, its also killing you slowly, and youre too in the moment to realize it.
it all started one day when everything seemed to be going wrong, and when "those things" were handy, you used them, and now its like an...addiction.
people say its your fault that you continue to do it, but is it?
what if theyre relying on it to make them fell...worth something?
that sense of happiness and numbness you feel when you do it..until the next morning when you realize what you really did.
im hurting the people around me, but im helping myself.
whats more important?
some may say, that that saved their life..others just have it just in case.
some things arent the greatest to hold on to..while saving your life, its also killing you slowly, and youre too in the moment to realize it.
it all started one day when everything seemed to be going wrong, and when "those things" were handy, you used them, and now its like an...addiction.
people say its your fault that you continue to do it, but is it?
what if theyre relying on it to make them fell...worth something?
that sense of happiness and numbness you feel when you do it..until the next morning when you realize what you really did.
im hurting the people around me, but im helping myself.
whats more important?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
mistakes.
people come in and out of your life so fast, and sometimes you can never really catch up to them to drag them back.
one mistake can screw up so many things in a persons life.
whether it be, robbing a store and going to jail, then not being able to find a job.
cheating on a spouse, and them refusing you back.
or being ignorant towards your friend, and then they want nothing to do with you.
it hurts.
you try and try to change everything back to how it used to be, when everything was good, and everybody was happy.
but now, you realize, youre never going to see that day again, because of that one mistake you made.
think before you act, you never know what the outcome could potentially be.
one mistake can screw up so many things in a persons life.
whether it be, robbing a store and going to jail, then not being able to find a job.
cheating on a spouse, and them refusing you back.
or being ignorant towards your friend, and then they want nothing to do with you.
it hurts.
you try and try to change everything back to how it used to be, when everything was good, and everybody was happy.
but now, you realize, youre never going to see that day again, because of that one mistake you made.
think before you act, you never know what the outcome could potentially be.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
best friend
they're someone you have when it feels like the whole worlds against you.
they're there when nobody else seems to care.
they seem to brighten your mood on a daily basis.
they were, and still are there, through the good, bad and absolutely terrible times.
you can ALWAYS count on them.
they're someone you cry over, when you fight.
someone you worry about.
someone you would do anything for.
someone who means the world to you.
they could be miles away, or feet apart, yet theyre still your best friend.
and when it comes down to it, you just cant let them go.
they make such a huge impact on your life.
they were your best friend for a reason.
it takes more than a goodbye to let a best friend leave your life.
no tears, no frowns, no horrible days could match up to how much your life would change without them.
you love them, and they love you, no matter what.
you always said nothing would come between the friendship you shared.
you never thought this day would come.
but it did, and theres not much left to say or do.
other than,
i miss you.
they're there when nobody else seems to care.
they seem to brighten your mood on a daily basis.
they were, and still are there, through the good, bad and absolutely terrible times.
you can ALWAYS count on them.
they're someone you cry over, when you fight.
someone you worry about.
someone you would do anything for.
someone who means the world to you.
they could be miles away, or feet apart, yet theyre still your best friend.
and when it comes down to it, you just cant let them go.
they make such a huge impact on your life.
they were your best friend for a reason.
it takes more than a goodbye to let a best friend leave your life.
no tears, no frowns, no horrible days could match up to how much your life would change without them.
you love them, and they love you, no matter what.
you always said nothing would come between the friendship you shared.
you never thought this day would come.
but it did, and theres not much left to say or do.
other than,
i miss you.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Day 30
dear my reflection in the mirror,
why are you so ugly?
why are you so unhappy?
why dont you feel comfortable smiling?
why cant you just hold your emotions in?
why cant you stop letting your friends and family down?
why cant you do well in school?
why cant you make somebody be proud of you?
why cant you just be normal?
why are you so fat?
whats wrong with you?
why are you such a screw up?
why cant you just be at the least bit perfect?
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK UP.
why are you so ugly?
why are you so unhappy?
why dont you feel comfortable smiling?
why cant you just hold your emotions in?
why cant you stop letting your friends and family down?
why cant you do well in school?
why cant you make somebody be proud of you?
why cant you just be normal?
why are you so fat?
whats wrong with you?
why are you such a screw up?
why cant you just be at the least bit perfect?
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK UP.
Day 29
dear the person i want to tell everything to, but am afraid to,
i do indeed tell you everything, but i feel like i leave a lot of details out.
im not going to go on and explain my whole life story on this blog because that would be stupid, but i do want you to know that, im here, because of you.
i smile, because of you.
i get through each day, because of you.
im not afriad, because of you.
i feel loved, because of you.
and the list goes on.
you are an amazing individual.
i could go on and on about you.
thank you so much for everything that you have done for me.
<3
i do indeed tell you everything, but i feel like i leave a lot of details out.
im not going to go on and explain my whole life story on this blog because that would be stupid, but i do want you to know that, im here, because of you.
i smile, because of you.
i get through each day, because of you.
im not afriad, because of you.
i feel loved, because of you.
and the list goes on.
you are an amazing individual.
i could go on and on about you.
thank you so much for everything that you have done for me.
<3
Day 28
dear someone who has changed my life,
we dont talk anymore, but i feel as though you deserve to be in this.
you helped me more than anyone ever even thought of doing.
you were there for me legitemly through it ALL.
i looked up to you for everything and you never let me down.
i dont know where i would be if it werent for you.
you saved me.
but now that we havent talked in months, i dont even know what to think.
i really miss you and wish that things would go back to how they were.
i really hope to talk to you in the future; you were a huge part of my life.
thank you.
we dont talk anymore, but i feel as though you deserve to be in this.
you helped me more than anyone ever even thought of doing.
you were there for me legitemly through it ALL.
i looked up to you for everything and you never let me down.
i dont know where i would be if it werent for you.
you saved me.
but now that we havent talked in months, i dont even know what to think.
i really miss you and wish that things would go back to how they were.
i really hope to talk to you in the future; you were a huge part of my life.
thank you.
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